You were let down too often. Maybe your trust was completely shattered. Perhaps, you played all your cards right and yet, the results didn’t pan out as expected. Possibly, the fault was never yours to begin with. Yet it happened, and now you just feel abandoned. Your face drops every time someone mentions your significant other. It's worse when you hear that they are now courting someone else. A world that felt full of joy and coincidental serendipity now seems to be ruled by melancholy, with depression ascending to the mantle.
Breakups don’t kill people, but they do hurt them nearly irreversibly. It’s not easy to cope with the fact that someone who you spent a significant amount of time with is now just a stranger to you. People who suggest that you should just “get over it” have no idea what they’re talking about. The world seems like a colder, lonelier place. But don’t lose hope just yet.
Relationships are important, so just because you're nursing a broken heart, don’t pledge that you’ll never try to connect with anyone again. Individuals need to form an emotional and physical attachment with other people in order to develop a sense of security, stability, and responsibility. Relations help you to branch out, mature, and even develop your personality. But let's face it- breakups make it feel as if someone sucker-punched you in the solar plexus and everything just went to blazes.
Most often, a relationship comes to an end if both the parties suffer from feelings of inadequacy and lack of intimacy. And sometimes, it's the other way round- you get overly attached. Issues of co-dependency often emerge when both parties are too attached to each other. This leads to lack of sensitivity towards the privacy of the individuals in the relationship, leading to frustration and irritability, and eventually the need for distance from the other half of the equation.
The first step to overcoming your breakup is to understand the feeling of emptiness that is currently present within you. You might often feel lost, and might struggle to perform well in your daily life. If this hinders you a lot, then it is suggested that you take a break from your normal routine. In fact, it is recommended that you chalk out a grieving period for a few days. This will help you cope better, and truly understand what you're going through.
Next, it is vital to cut off contact with your previous mate. This is imperative, so as to avoid the rekindling of feelings that would end up further worsening the situation. If you're the kind who spends too much time overthinking, then try to find other activities that occupy your mind.
Further, initiative must be taken in order for you to understand your feelings. Give yourself time and reflect on your relation. Try to remember the vices of your ex. Also, try to remember the bad times that occurred when you were together. If you are enthusiastic enough, you can pen your emotions down to help improve your ability to accept your emotions.
Most times, people end up indulging in their negative thoughts, leading them to perform uncharacteristically impulsive actions, causing them to further invest in their negative thoughts. This leads to a negative feedback loop, and escaping from this is difficult. Try out new hobbies, or visit new place, etc. Bottom line is that you must continuously engage yourself in positive activities in order to avoid pondering upon these abysmally negative thoughts.
After certain amount of time has passed, and you have coped with your emotions, you need to attempt to be honest with yourself. This is often the most emotionally taxing part of the post-breakup procedure. Yet, it is compulsory to go through it in order to upheave yourself from your break-up trauma. Try to honestly understand why the breakup happened. Love isn’t a good enough measure to overcome compatibility or ensuring mutual sustenance. Chances might be that this break up happened for a good reason, and it was almost inevitable to begin with.
The penultimate step is to pick yourself up and put yourself back out there into the world. Go through fashion makeover. Try different styles. Look different, and feel different. Learn from your mistakes. Try rearranging and decluttering your space. Reorganize it in a better manner, as a messy environment often causes unnecessary stress. Cleaning often works as a good activity to channel negative emotions. Also, try to remove memory-triggers that remind you of your ex, while you're still cleaning up. However, if you find that you still have sentimental value for certain objects, you need not discard them.
Try to take care of yourself and treat yourself to good food, clothing, books, etc. Make yourself the top priority. Many a times, you may find such a decision too tiresome, and not worth the effort. But you must try to stick to it. Surround yourself with supportive people who’ll understand you and will help you get back to your feet.
Try to let go of the past. Keep one eye looking at the present, and one eye looking into the future. No matter what, don't look back. Whatever happened, happened, and its best to let go of such repressive memories. If nothing, the breakup has certainly left you with learning lessons and has helped you grow as a person. The events of the past are irrefutable, but the future is filled with possibilities. Embrace them with full gusto, for who knows what the future holds for you!